The things that you care about make me so sad. Standing in line in the grocery store, all the magazines are about the same things. Lose ten pounds, bikini body by June, miracle diet discovery, latest fashion trends, summer's hottest hairstyles, and 99 sex moves to wow him. Always the same. Do you realize how vain you have become? I'm OK with keeping the magazines with tasty recipes, but why can't there be more magazines about how to strengthen your marriage, 10 secrets to being cheerful, most needed volunteers this season, fiscal responsibility and budget planning, and more magazines about heallth (which is not synonymous with weight loss)?
But it's not just the magazines, it's TV, the internet, the radio, all more of the same. All day, everyday, everywhere. It makes me sad. It makes me sad to see so many of you, especially women, focusing your energies on things that, not only don't really matter, but also are generally unattainable. It can only lead to a life lacking in fulfillment at best, and self loathing at worst.
At least Tina Fey knows what I'm talking about.
Now every girl is expected to have Caucasian blue eyes, full Spanish lips, a classic button nose, hairless Asian skin with a California tan, a Jamaican dance hall ass, long Swedish legs, small Japanese feet, the abs of a lesbian gym owner, the hips of a nine-year-old boy, the arms of Michelle Obama, and doll tits. The person closest to actually achieving this look is Kim Kardashian, who, as we know, was made by Russian scientists to sabotage our athletes.”
I wish girls everywhere could see what Tina Fey and I see. It's ridiculous. It's silly. And, if it weren't so terribly heart wrenching and depressing, it would be comical.
So put down your copy of Vanity Fair and stop comparing yourself to airbrushed and anorexic women. Close Polyvore and stop fantasizing about keeping up with every fashion trend that you can't afford. Go eat a cheeseburger (once in a while) and stop hating yourself for not eating kale and protein shakes all the time. Go work out for how it makes you feel instead of how it might help you look more like Kim Kardashian. And then.....get over yourself and go live life!
