beauty

There is a saying that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I think I had to hear that saying a few (billion) times to really understand what it means, that everyone has a different standard or definition of beauty, a different idea of what qualifies as beautiful. The world is busy contradicting this bit of tried wisdom by convincing you that there is only one beauty ideal and that every woman should strive and sweat and starve and spend in order to approach this ideal. Unfortunately, the ideal presented in the media is not only unrealistic (plastic surgery, make-up artists, air brushing), it's unhealthy. Those "beautiful" models you see in the media, the ones who are 6'2" and 120 lbs.-- are underweight.

Generally, health and beauty go hand in hand. Shiny hair, soft skin, and white teeth, for example. It's natural selection. So why have we let the media separate them? And what sense does it make to put beauty before health in our list of priorities? I fully support America's getting in shape. I support exercise and healthy eating habits. I support losing weight when needed. But I DO NOT support the media inflicting body image issues and self-hatred on women and girls by lying to them about what the perfect body looks like.

Now, I want to be beautiful as much as the next girl, but, according to this adage, I cannot be beautiful to everyone. So who do I want to be beautiful for? Do I want to be beautiful to all the shameless gawkers at the gym? Do I want to be beautiful to the men that spend their time drooling over Victoria Secret catalogs? Do I want to be beautiful to someone who buys into the media's lies and thinks that all women should look the same? No, of course not.

I once heard a DJ commenting on how one new movie made so much more than another new movie. "Of course more people wanted to see [movie A]. Why would you want to see a cute brunette in [movie B] when you can see a hot blonde in [movie A]?" Personally, I am proud of not being beautiful to him.

First and foremost, I want to be beautiful to me. I want to look in the mirror and feel good about the way I look. I want to feel good about my strong, healthy body and everything I can accomplish with it. Secondly, I want to be beautiful to people who see more in me that a pretty face. If someone thinks you are not good for anything but to be looked at, to be seen and not heard, to be an object--why in heaven's name should you care what they think about the way you look?

Take back your health. Take back your positive body image. Take back your confidence. Take back everything that you can do and be that has nothing to do with your dress size. Take back everything that the media's lies have stolen. And help the women in your life do the same. For help doing this, check out my new favorite website, http://www.beautyredefined.net/

a blanket apology

As I have already boasted many times, I have the best job in the world. However, I have recently become aware of an occupational hazard that, I'm afraid, is affecting the people around me. For that, I would like to apologize.

In order to effectively communicate with my Spanish 106 students, I find it necessary to adapt my speech in several ways. For example, I have to talk a little bit slower than natural, I incorporate charades at every opportunity, and I frequently repeat myself. Last week I was talking to a co-worker who speaks Spanish better than I do and I used the word correr, which means to run. I felt more than a little bit silly when I realized that I was unnecessarily running in place in the middle of the hall. On a later occasion, I found myself speaking rather slow Spanish to my supervisor who, once again, speaks better Spanish than I do.

So, if on any occasion you have felt that I was insulting your intelligence by talking down to you, by insinuating that you needed help to understand the simplest of words, I'm terribly sorry. Force of habit. If you would be so kind as to point it out to me, I would be more than happy to put my hands in my pockets and speak more quickly and with more intellectual words.

Now I'm scared to see what happens to my communication skills if/when I become a stay-at-home mother of small children...