religious musings

Slovenia and Croatia have marked a stark change in my travels. I love architecture. I know nothing about it, I just like to look at really old buildings and say, "OOOOO, Pretty!", which I got to do quite frequently in Prague, Budapest, and throughout Italy. But Slovenia and Croatia have been all about nature. Yesterday as I was swimming in the Adriatic sea, I got to contemplating the temple ceremony when it talks about the creation. Jesus really did a great job, from everything that I've seen, and I feel so privileged to be able to see so much of it. But it made me long for the temple in a way I haven't done since my mission when I didn't get to go for over a year.
The other day a girl asked me why I don't drink, and my first response was that it was a religious conviction. But that got me thinking again about something I've been contemplating for a while. Am I really a disciple of Christ, or do I live this way because I find it more appealing? Do I follow Christ out of love and gratitude and awe and humility, or do I do it selfishly, since that is the kind of life that appeals to me? I think cigarettes and alcohol are vile, smelly things, and have never had the slightest inkling to try them. I have seen far too much misery caused by not living the law of chastity to ever feel like the law of chastity is asking too much, and I want a stable and long-lasting relationship for myself that I know can only come through obedience to that law. I miss going to church when I don't get to, and I really miss the temple. And, when I think about it, there isn't anything that I am commanded to do that I don't enjoy, or at least see the wisdom in obeying. If Heavenly Father ever asked me to do something I didn't feel inclined to do, or that I didn't understand as well as I understand the commandments by which I now live, would I be as obedient as I am? What if I were commanded not to eat ice cream or not to play pinochle or not to travel? How would I take it?
Or is that just how God works? Is that just the nature of commandments, that those with eyes to see will see how they lead to happiness, that that is their only purpose? I keep wracking my brain for a time when the gospel was hard to live, but the only difficulties I can remember in living the gospel were the consequences of my not living it, and then having to change. Maybe it only makes sense that I can think of no instances of the gospel being difficult. As it says in Alma 41:11, "and they have gone contrary to the nature of God; therefore, they are in a state contrary to the nature of happiness." And then in Matt 11:30 "For my yoke is easy and my burden light."
Though I haven't got this satisfactorily settled in my mind, there is one thing that seems certain to me. The gospel of Jesus Christ as found in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints makes sense and makes people happy. Even if it didn't make so much sense, I would still know of its truthfulness. Indeed, there were parts that made little sense to me at all when I received that first, strong witness from the Holy Ghost of its truthfulness. But I'm super grateful that, even when it doesn't make sense, it makes me happy.